It is impossible to stay angry when you do the Hokey Pokey. No, really. It's true! Try it the next time you're feeling really upset about something and I guarantee you'll be smiling in no time.
I have been yell free for 9 months. I am beyond proud of this accomplishment because bad habits are hard to break. Yelling was a very bad habit for me. I used to say it was stress relief but in actuality, it just induced more stress for me and The Curly Girly Trio (and The Doctor as well, I'm sure).
I still feel stress and annoyance and sometimes anger, I just let those feeling out in a different way. I sing, I dance, I whisper. If we're home or if we're out, if I feel like yelling I dance and sing instead. I'd rather people look at me like I'm strange because I'm singing and dancing in the store and not because I'm yelling loud enough to be heard 5 miles away.
Going grocery shopping with the Curly Girlies takes a lot of effort. They have their Mama's wonderful quality of wanting everything she sees. Every aisle we go down, I hear pleas of, "Oh, Mommy! Can we please buy this?" and "Mommy! I have to have this!". L has even taken to quoting commercials. The first few times, it was cute. Now, it's just annoying.
We were walking down the laundry aisle in Target last week and L asked me if we use Clorox or Oxi-Clean.
"Oxi-Clean," I replied, astounded. "Why do you ask?"
"Because," she explained. "A man on TV says Clorox is better. But he's wrong. Oxi-Clean is the best product there is!"
Yesterday, after spending an hour walking around the grocery store fielding input from girls who insisted we buy Fruity Pirates Booty and Watermelon Juice (Ew! and Yuck!) along with some other items, M started begging for bubble gum. I had told them time and time again that I was only buying the items on my list and funnily enough, nothing they were asking for was on it.
"Please Mommy!," whined M. "Please! I'll do anything if you buy me bubble gum!"
"Again, M," I replied, quite patiently. "I already told you. It's not on my list, therefore I'm not buying it. When I put it on my list, I'll get some for you."
"But Mommy!," she pleaded. "Please! Pleease! I'll do anything!"
This is when the Hokey Pokey came in to play. She kept whining and turned on the tears and the sobs, so I started singing while I was unloading my cart. We made quite the duo, her sobbing, whining and carrying on that I was the meanest Mommy and "Mommy, please stop singing!!!!" and I kept singing. The fun started when B and L joined me! I happened to glance up and saw the cashier staring at us, and I couldn't help but smile. Stare away. Stare all you want. I'd much prefer you go home and tell your girlfriend about the crazy mother who sang the Hokey Pokey while her kid threw a fit. I'm crazy and I know it!
M kept the sobs up long after I finished and started in on "If You're Happy and You Know It". That got her to stop for a few minutes. I guess because she wasn't happy and she didn't want me singing about how happy I was (though, I was more annoyed than anything Don't let them see you sweat, right?).
After we got into the car, she whined, "Why didn't you buy me the bubble gum?" Really?? I mean, really???
"M, how long have you known me?," I asked.
"8 years," she replied.
"How long have you lived in my house, with my rules?"
"8 years," she answered a bit testily.
"Why is it then," I pondered. "That you act as though you don't know that when you carry on and whine you most certainly will not get your own way? Did you honestly think I was going to buy you the gum after I said 'No'? Did you honestly think that I was going to change my mind, especially after you carried on like that?"
"No," she answered meekly. By this point we pulled into the parking lot of the other store we had to go to.
"Mommy," she asked. "If I'm good in this store, will you buy me gum?"
What??!??
I looked her in the eye and said, "You know the answer to that."
"Ok," she pouted.
When my girls pout and complain about my saying "No" I answer with, "I know I'm the meanest Mommy in the world." Usually, they disagree and say, "No you're not! You're not mean!" Not yesterday, though. I said my usual to M and she replied, "I know." You know what? I look good in the Mean Mommy crown. It suits me. I love Mean Mommy who doesn't yell. Mean Mommy seems to be synonymous with Embarrassing Mommy and that is just fine by me.
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