I fully admit it. . . I am terrible at listening to voicemails. If you need to reach me and you get my voicemail you stand a better chance hanging up and calling back than you do leaving a message. It's not that I mean to be rude, but usually if I see I have a missed call I call the person back immediately. See? Not rude at all! Of course a lot of times, the said people think I've already listened to their message and I have to explain that I was so excited to speak to them, I didn't bother to listen. After a few days (more like months, if we're being truly honest) I realize how embarrassing it is to have that little red blurb with a "95" in it and go to my voicemails. I don't actually listen though, because by this point, I've already spoken to the people who have voicemails in the black hole. I start deleting one by one. Then, I start wishing there was a button for a mass delete. Then, I start thinking how I am NEVER going to let it get this bad again. "I will start listening to voicemails," I say. "I will!" As I'm deleting I start thinking about how in actuality, I won't. It truly is just easier for me to call someone back than it is to listen to a voicemail. I figure I should probably change my outgoing message to "Hi! You've reached CGM. I can't come to the phone right now and don't bother leaving a message, because truthfully I won't listen to it and it'll just sit in my voicemail list for months on end." When I really think about it, though, I get embarrassed to do that, because does the doctor's office calling to confirm an appointment need to know that I won't bother listening? (This does explain why we went to the orthodontist's office only to find out we were rescheduled for the following week. Oops.)
I had a very sad realization last night. In addition to never listening to voicemails, I have a tendency to not check my emails. My internal clock is all screwy for some reason and I've been waking up at 3:30 every morning. Last night, I got tired of crushing candy and all of my friends in Facebookland were sleeping, so I decided to see what was lurking about in my 500+ emails. It was then I realized that my voicemail problem has turned into a bigger issue.
I get a lot of junk mail. Probably because I sign up for a lot of junk mail. I don't mean too, but I've somehow ended up on all these daily email lists. Rue La La, Living Social, Groupon (aren't those last two essentially the same thing?). . . I have to know what deals I'm missing out on, since I don't actually ever buy anything from them (with the exception of the occasional magazine subscription or tickets to a kids place). Bed Bath & Beyond for the coupons that I always forget to use, Mr. Food for recipes I'll likely never make. The list goes on and on. I discovered a few pertinent emails mixed in with all the junk and I decided there is no reason for this. I have an iPhone. When I first got the phone 5 years ago, I loved checking my email! I checked it wherever I went, because I could. I would cycle and recycle it because I couldn't believe I didn't have any emails after the 10 I'd just checked 3 minutes earlier. I guess you could say the honeymoon is officially over, because the idea of checking email now just tires me, probably because I let it get to 500 plus.
I would love to say if you leave me a voicemail or send me an email after this, I'll listen and read it immediately, but I'll be perfectly honest with you. I won't. If you need to get me, text me. I read those all the time. . . For now.
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