Lunchtime Woes

I have loved packing lunches for my girls these last few weeks.  I love making fun recipes, putting their bento boxes together and thinking about how happy they'll be when they open their lunchboxes in the cafeteria.

I can always expect some food to be brought home and I'm usually fine with that.  Every day, after school I ask the girls how they enjoyed lunch.

"Delectable," B always answers.

"Eh, it was OK" or "I LOVED it!," M usually replies.

"I didn't like it," answers L on nearly a daily basis.

This past week, however, I've been noticing their leftovers don't really match up to their answers.  B never eats a lot, though she enjoys nearly everything, so I'm used to finding half an entree, or some fruit leftover.

M is my good eater and she usually eats everything given to her, unless she's full, in which case she'll stop and L is a mix of both of her big sisters.

This past week, every time I've emptied their boxes, M has had nearly everything leftover.  Yesterday was the kicker.  I packed them 6 pieces of PB&J sushi, cucumbers, cherries and a Gooey Chocolate Nut Bar.  I emptied her box to find 5 pieces of the sushi and all of her cherries, so essentially for lunch all she ate was one small piece of PB&J, her cucumbers and the chocolate nut bar, but when I had asked her how lunch was, she said she loved it.

"M!," I called. "Please come here, I have a quick question for you."

"Yes, Mommy?," she answered, walking into the kitchen.

"You said you loved lunch, but you didn't eat.  I've noticed you haven't been eating lunch at all this week."

"Yeah," she sighed.  "My Friend (who was in class with her last year) makes yucky faces when she sees my lunch, so I don't eat it."

So, now, 2 things are running through my head right now.  First of all, how dare My Friend make a face at my wonderfully delicious and fun lunches!  I'm sure whatever I'm giving my girls is much yummier and more fun than her boring sandwich.  Secondly, what is wrong with my daughter that she'd rather go hungry than eat a yummy lunch because some brat wrinkles her nose?

"Really?," I asked M, exasperated. "You aren't eating because someone is making a "yucky face" at a lunch she doesn't have to eat?"

"Um. . . ," stammered M.

"Did it ever occur to you that perhaps My Friend is jealous of your lunches?," I asked.

"No.  No, it did not," she replied.

"Next time this happens, you should tell her she's being rude and get up and walk away.  I'm not even sure why you are friends with her when she's so totally not acting like a friend," I started lecturing.  At this point, M just nodded and I could tell she hit the "Mommy Off Button", so I dropped it.

The Doctor was working from home yesterday, and I needed to vent.  I walked into his office and started talking.  Being the good man he is, he took my craziness and offered to talk to M later.

Later that evening, after I tucked L into bed, I walked out and saw The Doctor and M were sitting together talking about lunch, and I decided to join them.

The Doctor has a way with the girls and is able to talk without lecturing, unlike me.  This is very helpful because they end up coming to the conclusions we want them to see all by themselves (well, with a teensy bit of help, I suppose).

After a few minutes of talking, M said, "I guess My Friend and some of the other kids make yucky faces because they are jealous."

"That sounds about right," said The Doctor.  "What can you do about that?"

"Um. . . Tell them they're being rude and walk away?," she asked, looking at me.  (Oh, yay!  She listened!)

"Well, that's one option, but what else can you do?" asked the wise Doctor.

After a few more minutes, The Doctor got M to see that it's silly to go the entire day without eating just because people are making her feel bad about my wonderful lunches.  

"I do love Mommy's lunches," said M.  "My Friend gets a sandwich every day, and even though it's in the shape of a star or a heart, it's not as fun as Mommy's lunches.  I got so bored of having sandwiches every day last year."

"So, what can you say to your friends when they make yucky faces at a lunch you like?," I asked.

"I can tell them 'You don't have to eat this.  I like it and that's all that matters!'," she replied.  "I can also tell them it's rude to make comments about other people's food."

"Awesome," I replied.  "Do you want me to let your teacher know what's going on?"

"No, not yet," she answered. "I want to try to deal with this on my own first." 

Hooray!  That's a proud Mama moment right there, Folks.  M will be just fine and my lunches will be eaten once again.