Sharing the L.O.V.E.

From The Orange Rhino Herself:
Listen
Observe
Verify
Empathize

I received a very interesting text message from a friend a few days ago.  She asked me for help for her to stop yelling.  She has 4 children between the same ages as M and L and she told me she yells all the time and it's really beginning to stress her out.  She wanted to know how I stopped yelling.  First of all… I was beyond flattered.  The fact that someone is coming to me for help?  Wow.  Now I see how Orange Rhino felt when she started her blog and people started coming to her for help!  Secondly, I knew I wanted to help her because when I started this journey a year ago, I had no one except a blogger I'd never met before.  Sure, I had my support system of The Doctor and my best friend, but they hadn't been to the land of orange yet.  They didn't truly know how hard or difficult it was to NOT yell.  I always promised myself that if ever given the opportunity, I'd take it and take it I did.

The first thing I did for my friend was put together a Yell No More kit.  In a cute orange gift bag stuffed with pretty pink paper I put in my favorite shade of orange nail polish (Essie's Disco Fever) and a bag of my special Yell No More pills (orange chocolate drops- Party City's knock off M&M's).  I also added Orange Rhino's 12 Steps to Stop Yelling and her 100 Alternatives to Yelling.  I found both of those extremely helpful during my first few weeks.  I told her she is to call or text me whenever she needs support.  If she feels a yell coming on, I told her to run to her phone and send me a text.  As silly as it sounds, after complaining to a friend about your child's yell inducing behavior, you realize it's not truly yell worthy after all.

She thanked me up and down and told me she is excited, but scared, about doing this.  I completely understand.  Making the decision to not yell is easy, but actually carrying it out is so difficult.  It's normal to yell when we get angry just as an animal growls when provoked.  In our society, though, it's seen as socially unacceptable to yell at strangers.  When a guy cuts you off on the road, you might yell in your car, but you'd never lower the window and start shouting at him.  Why is it not OK to yell at strangers, but it is OK to yell at our kids?  This was one of things I mulled over before starting on my journey and it's one of the thoughts that ran in my head like a mantra whenever I felt like yelling at my precious Curly Girlies.

I truly hope my friend finds the journey to the land of orange as satisfying and fulfilling as I do.  As hard as it is not to yell, the wonderful feelings of being silly make it all worthwhile.