Why Do Today What You Can Do Tomorrow?

True story:  I sat down this morning to write about how B is a huge procrastinator, took one look at the screen and thought, "Eh. . . I'll do this later."  And I wonder where she gets it from. . . (is it too pedantic  for me to say "And I wonder from where she gets it?" Is it too pedantic for me to use the word pedantic?  See, this is how my mind works.  Back to today and my issue with procrastinating.)

So, now that I'm finished procrastinating. . . B is the biggest procrastinator I know and that's saying a lot!  I really believe her philosophy is "Not now, but later!" because she appears to do everything that way.  When she does her homework, she does sit down and gets right too it.  She then picks herself up, grabs a book and sits down on the couch to read.

"B, is your homework finished?," I ask (we could have this conversation recorded and just play it every day, for as often as we have it).

"Yes," she responds without looking up.

"Is it put away?," I query, looking right at it on the table.

"No.  I'll put it away later," she says, clearly annoyed that I'm distracting her.  Will you pay me on Tuesday for a hamburger today?  I should ask her that next time, though I'm sure that'll just earn me a blank stare.

"Fine!," she grunts, clearly annoyed that I'm making her tear herself away from whatever great American novel she's reading now.  "I'll do it now!"

Stomp, stomp, stomp

Yes you will, you know why?  Because homework isn't finished until it's put away.  B is not the only Curly Girly with this issue (clearly).

I can't tell you how many times I threw out homework last year, not realizing it was work that still needed to be turned in, because it was left on the table.

You go to school, you leave work behind, it gets trashed.  Not to sound like my mother, but "If it's important than put it away!"  Gah!  I hate when I have to pull out phrases I heard and hated from when I was a child.

B doesn't seem to realize that if she lived in the moment instead of thinking about doing it in the future, her room would be forever clean!  How hard is it to put dirty clothes in the hamper?  Evidentially, very, because none of the Curly Girly Trio seem to know how to use their hampers.

L is the worst at the messy room procrastination.  Well, actually, no she's not.  She's the worst at having to clean it up.  She'll play and play and play and then come out of her room to see if she can watch TV or go on the computer or have a snack and every singe time I ask, "Did you clean up?"

"Doh!," she grunts.  "It's too messy!  I can't do it!  I need help!"

"But, L," I lovingly point out. "You didn't need help making the mess.  Go get it cleaned up."

"It's too hard!," she cries.

That's when the big guns come out.

"Ok then," I soothe, grabbing a trash bag. "Tell you what.  Anything you don't want to put away, put in the trash bag and we'll give it to boys and girls who would love to have toys to put away."

"Ok," she concedes, with a small whine.  "I'll go clean."

I'm not sure what's sadder. . . the fact that I have to use underprivileged children as a threat or the fact that my child would rather clean up her things than donate them.

Today, after B finished her homework, she put it away immediately!  I almost fainted when I heard her say that she had to put it away before she could play.  I asked her why the change and she said, "Well, I'm trying to break my bad habit. . . Plus, you told me that if I could not procrastinate for the rest of the week, you'd give me an extra dollar in my allowance."  Money definitely talks. . . Too bad I'm going to go broke in the process.

"Please Leave a Message After the Beep and CGM Will Call You Back. . . Never"

I fully admit it. . . I am terrible at listening to voicemails.  If you need to reach me and you get my voicemail you stand a better chance hanging up and calling back than you do leaving a message.  It's not that I mean to be rude, but usually if I see I have a missed call I call the person back immediately.  See?  Not rude at all!  Of course a lot of times, the said people think I've already listened to their message and I have to explain that I was so excited to speak to them, I didn't bother to listen.  After a few days (more like months, if we're being truly honest) I realize how embarrassing it is to have that little red blurb with a "95" in it and go to my voicemails.  I don't actually listen though, because by this point, I've already spoken to the people who have voicemails in the black hole.  I start deleting one by one.  Then, I start wishing there was a button for a mass delete.  Then, I start thinking how I am NEVER going to let it get this bad again.  "I will start listening to voicemails," I say. "I will!" As I'm deleting I start thinking about how in actuality, I won't.  It truly is just easier for me to call someone back than it is to listen to a voicemail.  I figure I should probably change my outgoing message to "Hi!  You've reached CGM.  I can't come to the phone right now and don't bother leaving a message, because truthfully I won't listen to it and it'll just sit in my voicemail list for months on end."  When I really think about it, though, I get embarrassed to do that, because does the doctor's office calling to confirm an appointment need to know that I won't bother listening?  (This does explain why we went to the orthodontist's office only to find out we were rescheduled for the following week.  Oops.)

I had a very sad realization last night.  In addition to never listening to voicemails, I have a tendency to not check my emails.  My internal clock is all screwy for some reason and I've been waking up at 3:30 every morning.  Last night, I got tired of crushing candy and all of my friends in Facebookland were sleeping, so I decided to see what was lurking about in my 500+ emails.  It was then I realized that my voicemail problem has turned into a bigger issue.

I get a lot of junk mail.  Probably because I sign up for a lot of junk mail.  I don't mean too, but I've somehow ended up on all these daily email lists.  Rue La La, Living Social, Groupon (aren't those last two essentially the same thing?). . . I have to know what deals I'm missing out on, since I don't actually ever buy anything from them (with the exception of the occasional magazine subscription or tickets to a kids place).  Bed Bath & Beyond for the coupons that I always forget to use, Mr. Food for recipes I'll likely never make.  The list goes on and on.  I discovered a few pertinent emails mixed in with all the junk and I decided there is no reason for this.  I have an iPhone.  When I first got the phone 5 years ago, I loved checking my email!  I checked it wherever I went, because I could.  I would cycle and recycle it because I couldn't believe I didn't have any emails after the 10 I'd just checked 3 minutes earlier.  I guess you could say the honeymoon is officially over, because the idea of checking email now just tires me, probably because I let it get to 500 plus.

I would love to say if you leave me a voicemail or send me an email after this, I'll listen and read it immediately, but I'll be perfectly honest with you.  I won't.  If you need to get me, text me.  I read those all the time. . . For now.