Put on a Happy Face

I am fortunate it enough to have been blessed with the ability to stay home with our children.  When I was pregnant with B, The Doctor and I discussed child care and we both agreed that as long as we could afford it, I'd be a stay at home mom.

Staying home with them has been a blessing and it's not something I take for granted.  We make our sacrifices in different ways, mainly financial, but those are sacrifices we are fine with making.

All of this was brought on by an article I read today entitled "Dear Stay-At-Home-Moms, Please Shut Up" (http://www.lifetimemoms.com/parenting/stay-home-moms-shut-up).  My first thought was, "Great.  Another Mommy Wars article" and then I saw the article was written by a SAHM (stay at home mom).

After reading this article, I must say, I am very torn.  To sum it up, it's a SAHM who doesn't like it when other SAHM's complain about staying home with their kids. Anyone who knows me knows how much I love staying home with The Curly Girlies.  I love witnessing their antics, eavesdropping on their conversations and taking care of them.  However, I'd be lying if I said it was all roses all the time.  Let me tell you, it's not.  There are days I want to run away.  There are days I am so stressed I could pull out my hair.  Enough about me, though. . . Back to the article.

The author writes:
"To the SAHMs who can’t be thankful and instead view life at home with their children as one putrid event after another, I say this: If you despise constantly being in the company of humans who drool, if you are completely unsatisfied and miserable and longing for a way out, then, pretty please with a cherry on top, get a job, volunteer, find a hobby, go out with the girls. Do SOMETHING." 

This is the part I have a problem with.  Every SAHM I know loves staying at home and feels very blessed to be able to so.  Like any job, though, burn out does occur and it can be very difficult to have the same day, every day, without any change.  There are only so many times you can clean the kitchen, tell your kids to put away their shoes and trip over a toy before you need to vent about how frustrating this job can be.

Take this morning.  As she was putting on her shoes, M was coughing her head off and said, "Mommy, I think I'm wheezing again."  She has been coughing all weekend, and we've been making sure she's gotten her puffs from her inhaler.

"Go tell Daddy," I said to her, hoping this was nothing more than a ploy to stay home from school.  No such luck, though.

After The Doctor listened to her breathe, he said, "You need to take her to the doctor, today."

I fully admit, my first thought was not, "Yay!  I get a day to spend with my daughter!"

We happen to be friends with The Curly Girlies pediatrician and The Doctor texted her while I went around my morning routine.  I walked into M and L's bathroom to get a hair band and barrette for L and before I did, I laid my head on the door jam and cried.

At that moment, I did not want to think about having to take my daughter to the germy doctors office.  I wasn't thinking it might be fun to have a day home with her.  All I could think about was how I might end up missing Kickboxing and how my entire daily schedule would be thrown off, because this would not be an in and out visit.  It never is.  Not my greatest moment as a mother, but I didn't cry in front of M and I pulled myself together before I walked back into the kitchen.

One of the things I've learned through The Orange Rhino Challenge (http://theorangerhino.com), is things are likely not as bad as they could be.  "At least it's not the throw up bug," I said to The Doctor as I was getting ready to take the girls to school.  After that, I felt instantly better.

My beef with this article is this: Why are SAHM's not allowed to complain when things are tough?  Does venting to our friends mean we don't like what we do?  I know plenty of people who work in offices and out of the house and they love what they do, but still have moments where they need to vent.  Just because you are having an off day (or week) doesn't mean you don't feel blessed to have what you have.

For the record, once my Pity Party for One was over, I found out the pediatrician didn't want to see M and I still made Kickboxing.  My daily scheduled cleaning didn't get thrown off course and as a bonus, M got to see that I'm not kidding when I point out to the girls how hard I work around the house.  See? Always a silver lining and at least M can go to school tomorrow!

Job Title: Home Executive

I am always at a loss as to how to fill out forms that ask for employment and such.  I have a job.  I have a tough job, in fact, but because I don't get paid nor is it looked at as a "real" job, it's hard for me to answer such questions.

I remember when I was pregnant with B, The Doctor and I had decided I would stop working to raise our children.  I was 110% on board with that.  For as long as I could remember, all I ever wanted was to be a wife and mommy.  I was so excited about our decision and eagerly answered the question of, "What will you do after the baby is born?"

We were at a business dinner one night and one of The Doctor's colleagues decided to make small talk with me.  I'm fairly certain by the end of our short lived conversation, he was making a note to never talk to me again.

"So, what do you do?," Colleague asked pleasantly.

"I work in retail," I answered honestly.

"What will you do after the baby is born?," he asked, most likely out of politeness.

"Well," I answered eagerly.  "I plan on staying home with her!  Blah, blah, blah, blah."  (I remember his eyes glazing over and him leaning to the person next to him to ask how she liked her dinner.  I'm sure I said more than just "blah, blah, blah" but thinking about it is making my mind glaze over.)

I remember telling people that I was trading my monetary salary for the much more lucrative salary of hugs and kisses.  You can tell I was a soon to be first time Mom.  It never occurred to me how much of my pay would be in poopy diapers, spit up all over and lots and lots of tears.

I have had quite a few jobs in my life.  From working in the computer lab in college (in which either I was a very good mimicker or I've forgotten everything I once knew, because I know nothing about computers now) to all of those long retail hours, being a Mom is truly the hardest one.

I dealt with lots of grumpy people in my other jobs.  There were disgruntled students who forgot to save their work before closing Word, only to realize the printer wasn't connected and shoppers who fought trying to return items and trying to walk out without paying.  There was one time, I was cleaning the dressing rooms and a woman emerged from one.

"Ooh!," I complimented her.  "I love that top!  The color looks great on you.  Would you like to see some pants to go with it?"

"Um. . . This is MY top.  I came into the store wearing it," she said, clearly surprised (annoyed?) that not only didn't I recognize my own merchandise, but I sounded like all I was trying to do was make a sale.

Yep, I think it's safe to say being peed, pooped and snotted on is a pretty good gig.  Last night, The Doctor and I were in the process of leasing 2 cars (yay for great deals!) and while The Doctor was filling out a form, I was fiddling on my phone, wondering when we could go.  Suddenly, I heard The Doctor say to the Sales Guy, "Her name is on it too.  She has to fill this out as well!"

He then passed me the form and told me to fill it out, so I did.

Name: Curly Girly Mama

Place of Employment/Self Employed: Self Employed- SAHM

Annual Salary: Lots of Hugs and Kisses

How Long Have You Been Employed: 10 years, 10 months (by this point Sales Guy was laughing hysterically)

Job Title: Home Executive

The Doctor looked over to see why Sales Guy was laughing so hard.  He peered over my shoulder and said, "Great.  I'm sure someone in the credit department will get a big laugh, but a credit application is not the place to be funny."

"Whoops!," I replied, turning bright red.  "I had no idea what I was filling out!  Well, at least they have your information to go on."

I'm sure being a Credit Application Processor (is that an actual job title?) is not the most exciting job in the world, so if I was able to make someone laugh today, then my (second) job here is done.