The word is now out. . . we are packing up the TARDIS and moving about 3.5 hours North. The Doctor has found a new opportunity and as sad as it is to admit, this is the best move for our family. While he starts next week, The Curly Girly Trio and I are staying here to finish up the school year. We are in the midst of boxes and paper and bubble wrap and more boxes and clutter and more boxes. While we aren't planning on leaving the area for a few more months, I want us to get out of this house as fast as we can because I didn't think it was realistic for me to keep up the house for showings and accomplish everything else we need to do. So, while The Doctor is living with his Dad, the curly girlies and I will be moving in with my parents. We will go up some weekends to house hunt and will hopefully have a house up there by the time the rest of us are ready to join The Doctor.
We are all a bit apprehensive about this move. I had a sneaking suspicion that The Doctor is especially excited, since he's going back to what he loves and his family will be very close by, but he said he, too, is sad about this. B was holding out for a little over a month that it really wasn't happening and was quite shocked when we handed her 2 bankers boxes last week and told her to start packing up her books.
"Wait a minute," she said. "You mean we are really moving?"
"Yes!" exclaimed The Doctor, in an incredulous tone. "Did you really think we were not?"
"Well, yeah. I mean you hadn't signed the contract and I just thought. . . " B trailed off.
I gave her a hug and sat down on her bed.
"I know, B. It felt like it was up in the air for so long, but it is actually happening and we have to deal with it."
"I know," she replied quietly, while playing with a thread on her comforter.
"It's scary, isn't it?" I asked her.
"Yeah. . . and I really don't want to move away from O and all of my friends!"
"I know. But, guess what? You'll see O when we come down to visit and guess what?"
"What?" she asked.
"In 4 years you're going off to college" {insert mini panic attack from me} "and you and O can apply to the same colleges. Maybe you'll both get in and you can be roomies!"
"Oh yeah!" B exclaimed with a smile.
I walked out, trying to calm myself down. How can it only be 4 more years? Anyway. . .
I have had a very positive outlook on this move because the Curly Girlies are going to take their cues from me and if I show them I am scared and sad, this will be a terrible experience for all. Truthfully, though, I'm extremely sad and even more scared.
I grew up in this area and save for the 3 years we lived out of state and the 1 year we lived a little Northwest of here, I've always lived here. My parents are here. All of my friends are here. Starting over is scary!
When we lived out of this state, I didn't start making friends until B was born and we moved 6 months later. When we moved to CW, I tried to make friends. The Doctor says I didn't try hard enough, and maybe I didn't, but we were there for a year and I knew no one. I joined a Mommy and Me, but I didn't have anything in common with the other Moms, except that we were all Moms. . . Maybe The Doctor is right. Hmm. . . It was a lonely and sad time and one I do not care to repeat.
About 6 months after we moved down here, M was born. I put B in preschool and joined another Mommy and Me, where M met her first best friend and I met my second soul sister. (My first soul sister and I have been friends since we were 2 and while we haven't lived in the same state for over 20 years, we talk daily.)
When B was in second grade, one of her classmates was the daughter of the PTO treasurer and I fell in with the PTO Moms and found my groove. Now, here we are 6 years later and I love knowing that I will bump into people I know in Target and the grocery store. I love walking into the elementary school and seeing a friend around every corner.
I am so scared to move because I worry it will be hard to make friends again. I am super excited that we will be close to The Doctor's brother and his family because my sister-in-law and I are great friends and I am super excited to get to hang out with her so much more, but I don't want to end up in a situation where all of my new friends are her current friends.
I was explaining my fears to my Mom the other night and she said, "Oh, CGM, you have nothing to worry about! You are so friendly and extroverted, you'll make friends in no time!"
Does she not know me at all?!? Actually, I am probably the most extroverted shy person you will ever meet. Sometimes I surprise myself at how easily I talk to people, because I have always considered myself to be shy. . . but back to the problem at hand.
B will be in 9th grade, M will be in 7th grade and L will be in 4th grade. I don't think there will be much I can do to make friends at the high school and middle school and I have said I do not want to be active in the PTO/PTA at the elementary school, at least not to the degree I am now, but that might be my only way to make friends.
It reminds me of 3 years ago. . . During the first week of school, one of my very good friends had a Pampered Chef party and I knew pretty much everyone there, except for one new face. She and her family had just moved here from another state and she jumped right into the PTO, probably because she knew it was the best way to make friends.
I know the 3 girls are scared and I keep telling them they will make friends in no time. B will be in marching band, M will join a swim team and L will do soccer (or maybe curling, but that's a story for another time). But what about me? To quote the girls, "Everyone will already know each other." and "What if they don't like me?" It's so funny that at the age of 40, I'm having social anxiety. I keep having to remind myself, I'm not the weird little 6 year old that got picked on anymore. I'm a very nice, only a little weird, 40 year old. I just have to keep reminding myself: "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough and doggone it, people like me!" At least they do down here.
No comments:
Post a Comment