The word is now out. . . we are packing up the TARDIS and moving about 3.5 hours North. The Doctor has found a new opportunity and as sad as it is to admit, this is the best move for our family. While he starts next week, The Curly Girly Trio and I are staying here to finish up the school year. We are in the midst of boxes and paper and bubble wrap and more boxes and clutter and more boxes. While we aren't planning on leaving the area for a few more months, I want us to get out of this house as fast as we can because I didn't think it was realistic for me to keep up the house for showings and accomplish everything else we need to do. So, while The Doctor is living with his Dad, the curly girlies and I will be moving in with my parents. We will go up some weekends to house hunt and will hopefully have a house up there by the time the rest of us are ready to join The Doctor.
We are all a bit apprehensive about this move. I had a sneaking suspicion that The Doctor is especially excited, since he's going back to what he loves and his family will be very close by, but he said he, too, is sad about this. B was holding out for a little over a month that it really wasn't happening and was quite shocked when we handed her 2 bankers boxes last week and told her to start packing up her books.
"Wait a minute," she said. "You mean we are really moving?"
"Yes!" exclaimed The Doctor, in an incredulous tone. "Did you really think we were not?"
"Well, yeah. I mean you hadn't signed the contract and I just thought. . . " B trailed off.
I gave her a hug and sat down on her bed.
"I know, B. It felt like it was up in the air for so long, but it is actually happening and we have to deal with it."
"I know," she replied quietly, while playing with a thread on her comforter.
"It's scary, isn't it?" I asked her.
"Yeah. . . and I really don't want to move away from O and all of my friends!"
"I know. But, guess what? You'll see O when we come down to visit and guess what?"
"What?" she asked.
"In 4 years you're going off to college" {insert mini panic attack from me} "and you and O can apply to the same colleges. Maybe you'll both get in and you can be roomies!"
"Oh yeah!" B exclaimed with a smile.
I walked out, trying to calm myself down. How can it only be 4 more years? Anyway. . .
I have had a very positive outlook on this move because the Curly Girlies are going to take their cues from me and if I show them I am scared and sad, this will be a terrible experience for all. Truthfully, though, I'm extremely sad and even more scared.
I grew up in this area and save for the 3 years we lived out of state and the 1 year we lived a little Northwest of here, I've always lived here. My parents are here. All of my friends are here. Starting over is scary!
When we lived out of this state, I didn't start making friends until B was born and we moved 6 months later. When we moved to CW, I tried to make friends. The Doctor says I didn't try hard enough, and maybe I didn't, but we were there for a year and I knew no one. I joined a Mommy and Me, but I didn't have anything in common with the other Moms, except that we were all Moms. . . Maybe The Doctor is right. Hmm. . . It was a lonely and sad time and one I do not care to repeat.
About 6 months after we moved down here, M was born. I put B in preschool and joined another Mommy and Me, where M met her first best friend and I met my second soul sister. (My first soul sister and I have been friends since we were 2 and while we haven't lived in the same state for over 20 years, we talk daily.)
When B was in second grade, one of her classmates was the daughter of the PTO treasurer and I fell in with the PTO Moms and found my groove. Now, here we are 6 years later and I love knowing that I will bump into people I know in Target and the grocery store. I love walking into the elementary school and seeing a friend around every corner.
I am so scared to move because I worry it will be hard to make friends again. I am super excited that we will be close to The Doctor's brother and his family because my sister-in-law and I are great friends and I am super excited to get to hang out with her so much more, but I don't want to end up in a situation where all of my new friends are her current friends.
I was explaining my fears to my Mom the other night and she said, "Oh, CGM, you have nothing to worry about! You are so friendly and extroverted, you'll make friends in no time!"
Does she not know me at all?!? Actually, I am probably the most extroverted shy person you will ever meet. Sometimes I surprise myself at how easily I talk to people, because I have always considered myself to be shy. . . but back to the problem at hand.
B will be in 9th grade, M will be in 7th grade and L will be in 4th grade. I don't think there will be much I can do to make friends at the high school and middle school and I have said I do not want to be active in the PTO/PTA at the elementary school, at least not to the degree I am now, but that might be my only way to make friends.
It reminds me of 3 years ago. . . During the first week of school, one of my very good friends had a Pampered Chef party and I knew pretty much everyone there, except for one new face. She and her family had just moved here from another state and she jumped right into the PTO, probably because she knew it was the best way to make friends.
I know the 3 girls are scared and I keep telling them they will make friends in no time. B will be in marching band, M will join a swim team and L will do soccer (or maybe curling, but that's a story for another time). But what about me? To quote the girls, "Everyone will already know each other." and "What if they don't like me?" It's so funny that at the age of 40, I'm having social anxiety. I keep having to remind myself, I'm not the weird little 6 year old that got picked on anymore. I'm a very nice, only a little weird, 40 year old. I just have to keep reminding myself: "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough and doggone it, people like me!" At least they do down here.
Sunday, February 25, 2018
Friday, February 16, 2018
Be the Change
One of my favorite quotes is "Be the change you want to see in the world". I love it because those 10 words have so much meaning. If you aren't happy about something, complaining does absolutely no good, you have to step up do something to make a change.
The latest school shooting took place practically in my backyard. Parkland is about 25 minutes north of me and while I do not personally know any of the victims or their families, it hit home. Everyone in my community is jumpy and scared.
There has been a lot of talk of gun reform, and I fully agree something has to change, but that is a lot harder for us to do than other things that also need to change. Why did the Broward County School Board allow an open campus? Schools are supposed to be single point entry. Why didn't anyone notice this "student" wasn't wearing an ID? Anyone can enter any school at any time and if their intent is to kill, they will.
I am very active in my girls' schools. I am Vice President of the PTO at L's elementary school and I am SAF chair for both the elementary and middle schools. SAF is Student Advisory Forum and I go to a meeting once a month to discuss school board policies. I was at a meeting 3 weeks ago where our area's school board member was in attendance. I brought up school security and I said, "Single Point Entry is all well and good, but what good will it do if the deranged person jumps the counter, or shoots the secretaries and waltzes into the school? We need buzzers on the doors and partitions in the lobbies, further securing the school." This school board member shook her head and replied, "There just isn't enough money for that." That's crazy!!! Am I the only one who hears how crazy that is??? Think about it. "There just isn't enough money for that." There isn't enough money to make sure our children are safe?? School is where our kids spend the majority of their time. M-F for 38 weeks of the year (this number doesn't include winter or spring breaks) for 6 hours a day we send our children to school. We expect they will be safe and I'm told there's no money to make sure the schools are secure? There was money to make sure the School Board building is secure, does that mean the School Board members think they need more protection than our children?
I am not the kind of person to just sit back and complain. I want to be the change and it kills me that in this instance I cannot. You see, we are moving over the Summer and I will no longer be in this school district. If I was, I would be running for a seat on the School Board because "there just isn't enough money for that" isn't a good enough answer for me. I am infuriated this is the attitude our School Board members have and I'm infuriated that it seems to be an OK answer for other people.
Everyone on Social Media is talking about gun control, but that's not going to fix this issue. Someone who wants to kill will find a way to do it so if guns are more regulated they'll make a homemade bomb, or bring in knives. What will people be saying then, since gun control was fixed? The issue isn't that this guy was able to legally buy a gun (though I find it absolutely ludicrous that he's able to buy a gun, but he's not old enough to drink or rent a car. . . where is the sense there?), the issue is that our School Board failed these kids. They failed these families. They failed us. There is money to fight the House Bill that wants to turn failing public schools into charter schools, but there isn't money to make sure our children walk into school and will be safe there all day. There is money to train teachers how to teach our children to pass the Standardized Assessment tests, and there is money to have people write the useless tests, but there is no money to ensure me a deranged person won't enter my child's school and set a fire, shoot a gun or set off a pressure cooker bomb. Is that supposed to make me sleep better at night, that at least my kid will pass this test? What good will it do when they are hiding under a desk fearing for their life?
I shouldn't have to remind my daughters that if their school goes on lockdown, they are to grab their phones, turn them on and silence them and text me. I shouldn't have to try to find the words to assure my 8 year old that this is something that doesn't happen every day and going to school is still safe. How can I look her in the eye and tell her that when I know her safety means nothing to our School Board?
I am livid. I am infuriated. I am pissed and you should be too. I can't be the change right now but I will find a way and I encourage you if you are able, be the change in your community. Do not let this happen again. Go to school board meetings and ask the questions and when you are told, "There just isn't money for that" ask why not and don't take that bullshit answer lying down.
The latest school shooting took place practically in my backyard. Parkland is about 25 minutes north of me and while I do not personally know any of the victims or their families, it hit home. Everyone in my community is jumpy and scared.
There has been a lot of talk of gun reform, and I fully agree something has to change, but that is a lot harder for us to do than other things that also need to change. Why did the Broward County School Board allow an open campus? Schools are supposed to be single point entry. Why didn't anyone notice this "student" wasn't wearing an ID? Anyone can enter any school at any time and if their intent is to kill, they will.
I am very active in my girls' schools. I am Vice President of the PTO at L's elementary school and I am SAF chair for both the elementary and middle schools. SAF is Student Advisory Forum and I go to a meeting once a month to discuss school board policies. I was at a meeting 3 weeks ago where our area's school board member was in attendance. I brought up school security and I said, "Single Point Entry is all well and good, but what good will it do if the deranged person jumps the counter, or shoots the secretaries and waltzes into the school? We need buzzers on the doors and partitions in the lobbies, further securing the school." This school board member shook her head and replied, "There just isn't enough money for that." That's crazy!!! Am I the only one who hears how crazy that is??? Think about it. "There just isn't enough money for that." There isn't enough money to make sure our children are safe?? School is where our kids spend the majority of their time. M-F for 38 weeks of the year (this number doesn't include winter or spring breaks) for 6 hours a day we send our children to school. We expect they will be safe and I'm told there's no money to make sure the schools are secure? There was money to make sure the School Board building is secure, does that mean the School Board members think they need more protection than our children?
I am not the kind of person to just sit back and complain. I want to be the change and it kills me that in this instance I cannot. You see, we are moving over the Summer and I will no longer be in this school district. If I was, I would be running for a seat on the School Board because "there just isn't enough money for that" isn't a good enough answer for me. I am infuriated this is the attitude our School Board members have and I'm infuriated that it seems to be an OK answer for other people.
Everyone on Social Media is talking about gun control, but that's not going to fix this issue. Someone who wants to kill will find a way to do it so if guns are more regulated they'll make a homemade bomb, or bring in knives. What will people be saying then, since gun control was fixed? The issue isn't that this guy was able to legally buy a gun (though I find it absolutely ludicrous that he's able to buy a gun, but he's not old enough to drink or rent a car. . . where is the sense there?), the issue is that our School Board failed these kids. They failed these families. They failed us. There is money to fight the House Bill that wants to turn failing public schools into charter schools, but there isn't money to make sure our children walk into school and will be safe there all day. There is money to train teachers how to teach our children to pass the Standardized Assessment tests, and there is money to have people write the useless tests, but there is no money to ensure me a deranged person won't enter my child's school and set a fire, shoot a gun or set off a pressure cooker bomb. Is that supposed to make me sleep better at night, that at least my kid will pass this test? What good will it do when they are hiding under a desk fearing for their life?
I shouldn't have to remind my daughters that if their school goes on lockdown, they are to grab their phones, turn them on and silence them and text me. I shouldn't have to try to find the words to assure my 8 year old that this is something that doesn't happen every day and going to school is still safe. How can I look her in the eye and tell her that when I know her safety means nothing to our School Board?
I am livid. I am infuriated. I am pissed and you should be too. I can't be the change right now but I will find a way and I encourage you if you are able, be the change in your community. Do not let this happen again. Go to school board meetings and ask the questions and when you are told, "There just isn't money for that" ask why not and don't take that bullshit answer lying down.
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